10 Funny Sarcastic Cards for People Who Are Done Hinting | State the Obvious

I write cards for people who'd rather say the true thing than the nice thing. Here are ten of my favorites from the shop right now — pick whichever one matches your mood, or the person you're sending it to.

1. "They fired you and kept Gary. Gary. Let that sink in."
For the friend who got laid off and is still, rightfully, mad about Gary.

2. "Healing is great. Boundaries are better. In that order."
Self-explanatory.

3. "No explanations required. Just cake."
Boundaries taste better with frosting.

4. "Another year older. Still unavailable for nonsense."
A birthday card and a personality trait.

5. "You're not aging. You're becoming increasingly specific about what you tolerate."
This is less of a card and more of a personal growth chart.

6. "Birthdays are temporary. Personality is forever. Good luck to everyone else."
Not your problem.

7. "May your coffee be strong, your boundaries stronger, and your phone stay on Do Not Disturb."
The only birthday wish that matters.

8. "Another lap around the sun. Still refusing unpaid emotional labor."
Professionalism, obviously.

9. "We are eating, not scrolling."
A wall art piece and a mission statement.

10. "Happy Birthday. Continue protecting your peace. Everyone else can schedule accordingly."
Courtesy.

If one of these sounds like something you'd actually say, it's probably already in the shop. New cards go up constantly — find the rest at statetheobv.etsy.com.

Obviously.